Lessons for a New Year: 2015

2014 has been a crazy year for me. I sold almost all of my material belongings, quit my job and moved to the other side of the world. I traveled through 3 countries, got a crazy new job, and challenged all the preconceptions about life I’ve ever had. I have lived without items, that until now, I had considered to be household essentials. For example, I washed all my laundry by hand for over 8 months, and I don’t have a dishwasher, television, air-conditioner, or toilet paper in my house (don't worry we use a 'butt sprayer' instead). I’ve begun learning a new language, and immersed myself into a new culture. The result? I am happier than I’ve ever been. I work harder than I ever have before. And most importantly, I never do anything I don’t want to do.

I’m left wondering… what changed? Why, when on paper life should be more difficult, does everything seem simpler, easier, and lighter? Why am I so much happier? Why don’t I feel anxiety or anger anymore? Well, I can’t pinpoint when it happened, but somewhere along this crazy journey, I’ve learned a few important lessons.

1. Accept life for what it is. Sometimes things are great, and sometimes they suck. Sometimes life is stressful and hard, and sometimes life is simple and easy.  Think back to chemistry class when you struggled to balance a complicated equation…If you want to balance the equation then every action must have an equal and opposite reaction on the other side. As in science and math, it is in life; the good comes with the bad. What you have to realize and accept is that all these experiences are apart of your life, YOUR ONLY LIFE, so enjoy it while it lasts – both the good and the bad.

2. Don’t worry so much. A simple fact of life (and science – Murphy’s law) is that shit can always, and often does, hit the fan. Once it does, all you can do is deal – so don’t stress about the who, what, where, when and why. When the time comes and the shit flies, you will learn to adapt, learn, grow and move forward, because let’s face it, what the fuck else are you going to do?

3. Stop getting in your own way. We all face this challenge in such different ways, but there is one simple solution: calm down and let it go. In many cases, our emotions get the best of us; we stay mad, sad, scared and stuck. Letting go of these emotions is incredibly difficult, but learning to do so will change your life. When I first started enacting this principle I would feel guilty for not feeling sad about something bad that happened, or not being mad at someone who offended me. The more I thought about those feelings, the dumber they seemed. If I can let go of negativity in my life, what kind of terrible masochist would I be for feeling bad about it! After this realization, I have slowly let go of my guilt for not caring as much, and I have to say that living life on a mellow frequency, rather than on rollercoaster of emotion, is a much more peaceful and enjoyable place to be.

4. Get over yourself. We all feel as though we are the center of the universe, and as conscious beings -in a way we are; however, your physical form and current existence on earth (which is separate from your consciousness) is but a grain of sand, a fraction of a second. Get over the material and surface pain and suffering of this life and revel in the fact that you aren’t as important as you have made yourself out to be. Accepting this makes it a lot easier to let go of anger, depression, anxiety, and hatred.

5. Stop taking life so seriously. Before moving here, I worked at a mental health facility and we constantly preached that talking things through, sitting with your emotions, processing life events, and understanding yourself on a deeper level will help you to become a happy person. Since leaving there, I have realized that this is not necessarily true. At a certain point, you have to accept that you will never feel happy about certain parts of your life. As I mentioned before, the good comes with the bad, so it makes sense that we will all experience events in life that we will never see as good. The alternative to what I can only interpret as dwelling, is to process the issue, understand what affects you, focus on what that can teach you, and then move on. Dwelling on the past – whether good or bad – distracts from the present moment. Just let it go, enjoy today. Enjoy the small things; the wind on your face, the first sip of your morning coffee, and the glorious moment of the day when you get to take your bra off. Feel the clarity of cherishing an evening at home alone with a good book and cheap wine. Laugh with your friends, drink too much, eat something fried, and sing off key. All in all, do what you what, when you want and don’t give a fuck what anyone else thinks. I hate to say it…but, YOLO bitches.

6. If you really don’t like something, do something about it. Too many times I hear people complain about various aspects of their lives, while they simultaneously do things to perpetuate the very situation they are complaining about. You have to take responsibly for yourself, your life and your actions. Basically, just be who you want to be. But don’t get caught up in the superficial bullshit – I’m not talking about loosing weight or getting a nose job. I’m taking about quitting the dreadful job you hate, breaking off that unhealthy relationship, moving away from your hometown, going back to school - basically just following your dreams.

That being said… Don’t subscribe to the mentality that you will be happy once you reach a certain goal or accomplish something difficult - this is bull shit. Truly, it’s not so much about what you do, but rather, how you feel about doing it.

The only person with any real control over your life is you, so get in the driver’s seat and go. Life is all about the journey; so take the scenic route, pick up hitchhikers, eat the local cuisine, smile and leave your mark everywhere you go.

Much love, and happy New Year!