2014 has been a crazy year for me. I sold almost all of my
material belongings, quit my job and moved to the other side of the world. I
traveled through 3 countries, got a crazy new job, and challenged all the
preconceptions about life I’ve ever had. I have lived without items, that until
now, I had considered to be household essentials. For example, I washed all my
laundry by hand for over 8 months, and I don’t have a dishwasher, television,
air-conditioner, or toilet paper in my house (don't worry we use a 'butt sprayer' instead). I’ve begun learning a new language, and immersed
myself into a new culture. The result? I am happier than I’ve ever been. I work
harder than I ever have before. And most importantly, I never do anything I
don’t want to do.
I’m left wondering… what changed? Why, when on paper life
should be more difficult, does everything seem simpler, easier, and lighter? Why
am I so much happier? Why don’t I feel anxiety or anger anymore? Well, I can’t pinpoint
when it happened, but somewhere along this crazy journey, I’ve learned a few
important lessons.
1. Accept life for
what it is. Sometimes things are great, and sometimes they suck. Sometimes
life is stressful and hard, and sometimes life is simple and easy. Think back to chemistry class when you
struggled to balance a complicated equation…If you want to balance the equation
then every action must have an equal and opposite reaction on the other side.
As in science and math, it is in life; the good comes with the bad. What you
have to realize and accept is that all these experiences are apart of your
life, YOUR ONLY LIFE, so enjoy it while it lasts – both the good and the bad.
2. Don’t worry so
much. A simple fact of life (and science – Murphy’s law) is that shit can
always, and often does, hit the fan. Once it does, all you can do is deal – so
don’t stress about the who, what, where, when and why. When the time comes and the shit flies, you will learn to adapt, learn, grow and move forward, because let’s face it,
what the fuck else are you going to do?
3. Stop getting in
your own way. We all face this challenge in such different ways, but there
is one simple solution: calm down and let it go. In many cases, our emotions
get the best of us; we stay mad, sad, scared and stuck. Letting go of these
emotions is incredibly difficult, but learning to do so will change your life.
When I first started enacting this principle I would feel guilty for not
feeling sad about something bad that happened, or not being mad at someone who
offended me. The more I thought about those feelings, the dumber they seemed.
If I can let go of negativity in my life, what kind of terrible masochist would
I be for feeling bad about it! After this realization, I have slowly let go of
my guilt for not caring as much, and I have to say that living life on a mellow
frequency, rather than on rollercoaster of emotion, is a much more peaceful and
enjoyable place to be.
4. Get over yourself.
We all feel as though we are the center of the universe, and as conscious
beings -in a way we are; however, your physical form and current existence on earth (which is separate from your consciousness) is but a grain of sand, a fraction of a second. Get over the material and
surface pain and suffering of this life and revel in the fact that you aren’t
as important as you have made yourself out to be. Accepting this makes it a lot
easier to let go of anger, depression, anxiety, and hatred.
5. Stop taking life so
seriously. Before moving here, I worked at a mental health facility and we
constantly preached that talking things through, sitting with your emotions,
processing life events, and understanding yourself on a deeper level will help you to become a happy person. Since leaving there, I have realized that this is not
necessarily true. At a certain point, you have to accept that you will never
feel happy about certain parts of your life. As I mentioned before, the good comes
with the bad, so it makes sense
that we will all experience events in life that we will never see as good. The
alternative to what I can only interpret as dwelling, is to process the issue, understand what affects you, focus on what
that can teach you, and then move on. Dwelling on the past – whether good or
bad – distracts from the present moment. Just let it go, enjoy today. Enjoy the
small things; the wind on your face, the first sip of your morning coffee, and the
glorious moment of the day when you get to take your bra off. Feel the clarity
of cherishing an evening at home alone with a good book and cheap wine. Laugh
with your friends, drink too much, eat something fried, and sing off key. All
in all, do what you what, when you want and don’t give a fuck what anyone else
thinks. I hate to say it…but, YOLO bitches.
6. If you really don’t
like something, do something about it. Too many times I hear people
complain about various aspects of their lives, while they simultaneously do
things to perpetuate the very situation they are complaining about. You have to
take responsibly for yourself, your life and your actions. Basically, just be who you want to
be. But don’t get caught up in the superficial bullshit – I’m not talking about
loosing weight or getting a nose job. I’m taking about quitting the
dreadful job you hate, breaking off that unhealthy relationship, moving away from your hometown, going back to school - basically just following your dreams.
That being said… Don’t subscribe to the mentality that you will
be happy once you reach a certain goal or accomplish something difficult - this
is bull shit. Truly, it’s not so much about what you do, but rather, how you
feel about doing it.
The only person with any real control over your life is you,
so get in the driver’s seat and go. Life is all about the journey; so take the
scenic route, pick up hitchhikers, eat the local cuisine, smile and leave your
mark everywhere you go.
Much love, and happy New Year!
